Love Is Real, But So Is Strategy

I gotta get this off my chest...

I’ve been thinking about how so many women say they want love, but they don’t really understand how relationships work. Like yes, love is important—but feelings alone don’t hold a relationship together.

You need wisdom, grace, and a little bit of strategy, too.

We’re so quick to say, “I’d leave if he ever did this…” or “I would never deal with that.” But, let's be honest, half the time it’s not even about what he did—it’s about how it looks to other people.

And listen, I get it. Nobody wants to look like the dumb girl who stayed. But sometimes the girl who stayed… was actually smart enough to know that she had something real.

Here’s the real problem:

Most of the time, relationships don’t end because there’s no love. They end because:

• Somebody’s ego got in the way

• Somebody felt embarrassed

• People started reacting instead of thinking

• Or the group chat talked you into leaving

  
  

We’ve been taught to lead with emotion—especially when we feel disrespected. But sometimes that “I’m out!” energy is just ego in a cute outfit.

Not every mistake needs to be a breakup. Not every feeling means you have to walk away.

Sometimes, staying is the power move.

Staying doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you know what you want, and you’re not gonna let one moment ruin something solid.

If he’s truly a good man, if y’all have a real connection, if he’s been holding it down in every other way—it’s okay to look at the big picture and say, “I’m not throwing this away over pride.”

Strategic love looks like:

• Keeping people out of your business

• Thinking long-term instead of reacting short-term

• Knowing your man’s value beyond the moment

• Protecting your peace, not your image

  
  

And here’s the thing—not everybody gets that!

Especially women who’ve never been in anything real. They don’t know what it means to forgive, to work through stuff, to build something over time.

So they might call you crazy for staying. But you know what?

Let them talk.

You don’t have to:

• Prove anything to anybody

• Make a public statement

• “Get your lick back”

• Or leave to be respected

  
  

Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is be still, protect your relationship, and move with grace and intention.

That’s grown woman energy.

That’s real love.

And that’s strategy.

Every day isn’t going to be sunshine and rainbows, but that’s okay—that’s life.

With love and clarity,

Ash 🤍

Let me know your thoughts below—have you ever had to choose peace over pride?